We’re not moving…yet

Almost every month since the day I moved west from my family home in Ontario, someone has asked me when I am coming back.

At first it was three years, 2013 was the year I was going to return to Ontario and enter the media field there. But, I met a boy and fell in love with him. He proposed and we got married in October, 2012. 

He owned a house and had signed a mortgage term of five years, renewable in 2015. So, without question, two years were added to my term in Alberta. 

Then, in 2015 we were parents of a busy one-year-old and my husband was not quite ready to say goodbye to the place he grew up. After many nights of discussion as well as tears and a bit of pouting on my part, we agreed to wait until 2017. 

No, family and friends, your constant asking of when I would be moving my family back to Ontario did not help my situation. I fought very hard to remain content in my situation. 

Summer 2016 rolled around, we were parents for the second time to another little boy and set on our plan to put the house up for sale in the Spring of 2017. Then, something strange happened. I began to feel anxious about the decision. 

We had just begun to put in place a good plan to pay down debt. 

Cody began working at a shop about a year prior where he is respected and appreciated. And in return Cody loves working there. He enjoys having the opportunity to learn and the positive atmosphere. 

Our house is finally 90 per cent painted and decorated to our tastes and Cody has fixed a number of things that have made it more efficient. 

No, friends in Grimshaw and Peace River, hearing your stories about how you never did move does not help me feel less anxious. 

So, Cody and I made the decision to postpone our big move by one more year, mostly to give ourselves more time to be in a better place financially to get through a big move. 

By the Spring of 2018 we have plans to pay off our car as well as most if not all of my remaining school debt. Then, hopefully by the time we are ready to move we will only owe money on our truck and for our mortgage.

This debt we believe we can handle with a cross-country move. 

With my sister and her husband and daughter returning to Ontario from BC at the end of this month, I find myself on a roller coaster of emotions. I am thrilled for them but very jealous, which leads to feeling sad and then guilty for making their move about me. 

So Lynds and Erik if I don’t talk to you about your move, know I am thrilled for you. It’s just hard to see you move back to Ontario, while I am yet unable. I do, however, look forward to visiting with you in your new home next Christmas (or whenever we get to Ontario for another visit).

I wrote this partially because I knew it would be cathartic to put into words our plan. I also wrote it partially as a means of answering my family and friends’ inevitable question: “When are you coming home?”

So loved ones, 2018 is the plan, it’s of course not set it stone. But please know it is our sincere hope and dream to make this move work. 

Please don’t ask me the next time you talk to me unless you want to also deal with the tears or short responses. 

We’re coming, I promise. 

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